Off Shore -
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Offshore - the Unusical Musical: Music & Lyrics: Jerry A. Ranger,  Book & Script: Jan Claire

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"Off Shore,
the Unusical Musical"

Rap Island
Strange as it Seems
Welcome Aboard
Tsunami Love Song
Bon Appetit
Lobster Song
"Uff Da" Polka
Gettin' 'em Off
Short Term Rental
What Time of Day is the Midnight Buffet
I Could Love One Like You
Fit and Fat
Ten Commandments
Laughter Lights and Applause
Making Pleasure Work
Time to Retire

The ladies are organizing. They have elected Miss Letitia Wood as president of their national organization called the ARP - Association of Retired Prostitutes. They have applied for the appropriate not-for-profit status, and through slick lawyer friend, Theobald "Tibby" Templeman, senior partner of the law firm Templeman, Wardell and Dodderidge in New York City, the application has been approved by the U.S. Government. The next step they must take is to work with the lawyers to hammer out just how the organization will function. Members nationwide are clamoring to join, but before the membership program can be set up, one big question remains unanswered: How can a pension plan for retired prostitutes be set up so that by paying in to the plan for an unusually short time, these women of the night can direct the association's funds into investments that will grow into even more funds to make the "pension plan" work?

In setting up a private meeting, soon-to-retire Nicole LaVee, ARP Vice President and the President, veddy British Letitia (whose unfortunate nickname, standard in Britain for the name "Letitia," happens, coincidentally, to be "Titty") have invited many officers of ARP chapters across the country, nearly the entire law partnership, the best minds of Templeman, Wardell and Dodderidge, and some recognized experts in international law...just in case.

A travel agent suggests they hire a cruise ship. It's a perfect fit: the relatively confined space aboard ship allows for subcommittee meetings, informal political gatherings, and the main meetings of the ARP and their law firm can take place in relative seclusion.

When the group gets together, a plan is hatched. Will the ARP members be able to sail off into the sunset with pensions, or will their idea sink to the bottom of the Caribbean?

Come along on the cruise to beat all cruises, and enjoy the merriment!